Final Fantasy in Wonderland
by GwynSvietBackfromtheDead
Summary: Cloud falls down a rabbit hole, will he be able to be Alice? Rated M for possible later material, Yoai/Het pairings, R&R appreciated! Disclaimer: i don't own FFVII or Alice in Wonderland wish i did though
1. Chapter 1

Final Fantasy in Wonderland

Cloud was bored, not the usual "I'll just go find a good book to read" kind of bored, this was a "If I don't find some entertainment now I will turn into a homicidal maniac" kind of bored. Clouds sister Tifa liked to drag him to this particular park to "Catch up on our intellectual study of nature" when actually what she was doing was making-out with her boyfriend and didn't want to be bothered.

Cloud was sitting at the base of a large tree being bored, Tifa had gone off with boy #3 and he didn't feel like going home without her. He was woken by someone talking, "Hello? Can you hear me now? O.k., now what I was going to say was… Drat" Cloud looked over and saw a young boy with rabbit ears cursing into a cell phone. Cloud at this moment was in such a stupor that it did not really register in his head that a rabbit/boy hybrid was standing right next to him. The boy had on a white and black striped coat with tails. A large, black, dangerous looking pocket watch was dangling from a torn pocket; he had no shoes but rabbit feet with very sharp looking claws. The boy had wavy brown hair with white streaks in it and a large pair of highly pierced rabbit ears. When Cloud saw the ears twitch he screamed like a girl, the rabbit/boy looked nonchalantly over as Cloud screamed and clutched the tree for what seemed like a long time indeed. When Cloud was done the rabbit/boy stared at him "What wrong with you" he asked, "You're a talking rabbit boy thing! Rabbits don't talk!" Cloud shrieked, his voice hitting a decibel any opera soprano would envy. The rabbit boy looked at Cloud like he was an idiot "I have a mouth, and I can form intelligible words. Also, I have a cell phone" he said in a "Duh" voice. Cloud just stared at him. The rabbit, growing bored, quickly pulled out his watch and snapped it open. With a wail almost like a sob he yelled "I'm late!!!!!!! The Queen will see me in five minuets and I still need to get my top hat!" and with that he grabbed Cloud, shoved him surprisingly hard for such a small person, and bolted down a rabbit hole that had previously not been there. Cloud was dazed by the rabbit/boy and his surprising strength and plopped down next to the hole, he then proceeded to ignore it and be bored.

After two minuets his curiosity got the better of him and he poked his head in the hole, "Hello? Mr. Rabbit boy sir? Are you down there?" he yelled as he crawled into the black orifice. After thirteen feet the tunnel stopped and dipped suddenly down, Cloud not knowing this crawled right into it and started falling. He fell strangely slow, so he had enough time to look at all the weird things that were on shelves lining the wall.

There was a Voodoo doll that looked a lot like a grinning cat full of pins, there was a variety of bottles with the words "Drink Me" on them in different fonts, also there were decks of old-fashioned looking playing cards. When he passed by one such shelf, a book fell and hit him in the head. He quickly grabbed it and looked at the title "Alice in Wonderland, hmmmm….. Never heard of it" and with that he let it fall onto a collection of miniature white rose bushes. It took a while for Cloud to actually reach the bottom, but when he did he landed with a thud and a pile of clothes rained down on him. When he had extracted himself he saw the rabbit/ boy hopping down another tunnel in front of him "Excuse me Rabbit boy" he called, the rabbit/boy turned "What do you want with me" he replied shortly, "I want to go with you" pleaded Cloud. The rabbit boy huffed "No, I have important business" he turned to go, "But could you at least tell me your name" Cloud asked, the rabbit boy whirled around "I'm the White Rabbit, but most of my friends call me Denzel… and no you cannot call me Denzel" and with a flourish of his puffy tail, the White Rabbit disappeared.

Cloud was flabbergasted, no person, not even a talking rabbit boy, had ever blown him off like that! He staggered to his feet and pulled a pair of frilly underwear out of his hair, upon seeing such a hideous thing he jumped and fell. After getting to his feet, he limped towards were the rabbit had disappeared. When he got to the exact spot he found a small door, just the size for a small child, upon closer inspection he found a large doorknob that looked like a dodo. After much pushing and kicking, the door finally opened and Cloud crawled through.

He was in a large hall like room with two story stained-glass windows; the stained-glass windows had all sorts of mythical creatures on them doing various things. There were a large number of doors around the hall, all were numbered and ranged in size and shape. Cloud did not know where to go, so he just sat and waited for someone to come through a door and tell him.

Cloud slept for a long time and when he woke he felt as fresh as a daisy, he didn't feel so fresh when he saw his clothes though, "A DRESS!!!!" His scream vibrated through the room, his horror had no bounds. It was black and strapless with a tight bodice and a tutu like skirt; it had all sorts of ruffles and lace in a creamy color, he looked at his feet and saw that he was wearing fishnets and black combat boots with little tiny sculls and daisies on them. To make matters worse he found someone had put a black ribbon in his hair, and possibly make-up on his face.

"I look hideous" he whispered, and the sound of that whisper vibrated throughout the room till it sounded like many voices were giggling. In fact many voices were giggling; Cloud whirled around to find that the creatures in the stained-glass windows were laughing; the fat mermaid closest to him asked between tears "Like the dress sonny boy?" Cloud/Alice was speechless, then out of the blue, door twenty seven opened with a loud clang. The White Rabbit poked his head out "You look like a freak Alice" he said with a smirk "I'M NOT ALICE" yelled Cloud/Alice. The White Rabbit grinned and turned to go "You have to help me" Cloud whined, "No I don't" replied the White Rabbit, and with that he disappeared again. Alice, wanting to get out of the dreadful place, practically flew to a door; the only door that would open was the smallest. It was so small that Cloud had to lie flat on his stomach to see through the tiny doorway. On the other side was a lovely garden with little furry animals and butterflies, Cloud shut the door quickly and gagged. On the other side of the room he heard a flutter; he looked to see his clothes hanging just out of reach, giving off a squeal of joy he jumped up and ran to his old clothes, tossing the key aside. After reaching his clothes he found that they were too high up, dejected he slumped to the ground. He felt a bump underneath him and pulled out a tiny bottle, upon the bottle was a label in a curly script "Drink me" Cloud, being very thirsty, drank it.


	2. Chapter 2

Cloud emptied the tiny bottle in one gulp, the liquid tasted ghastly, like butterscotch and dog food at the same time (not that Cloud had ever eaten dog food) for a few long moments he thought he would toss it all up, but it staid down. He closed his eyes as they were swimming most horribly, he felt a rush of cool air and sighed at how good it felt. When he finally opened his eyes he saw that the hall was a whole lot bigger than before, he squinted at the harsh light. The doors were a whole lot bigger than before, towering many feet higher than him. The only door that was his size was door that had previously been to small "That's odd" commented Cloud to himself. He walked over and tried the knob, it was locked "Not like I would go in there any way" he grumbled. He turned to look at another door again when a large bucket of water spilled on his head, he sputtered as the water drenched his clothes and made little rivers on the floor "Who did that!" he yelled, but no body was there and the only thing he heard was the tittering from the windows above him. Thoroughly angry and miserable he tried to wring out his clothes to get the extra water out. He noticed a hall going somewhere to the left, thinking he had nothing to lose, Cloud/Alice wandered down the long dark hallway.

About five minuets later he found himself in a forest much like the one past the tiny door; there were butterflies, and flowers, and joy, and joyness. Cloud/Alice went over to a tree to lean on as a wave of nausea hit him and almost tripped over a bundle of something that looked alive, it twitched and unrolled and he saw it was a mouse…..person. It yawned "Have I been sleeping long Mad Hatter" it said in a quiet voice and rolled over. She was cute, with brown hair pulled back by a pink bow and brown ears; she looked like a ten year old girl. Her dress was a little rumpled where she had been sleeping on it, and her nose was all muddy from sleeping in the dirt. When she looked up she made a double take at Cloud/Alice and started giggling, Cloud was annoyed "Can you please help me find a way out of here?" he asked huffily, the mouse was still laughing when it fell back to sleep suddenly. Cloud kicked her a few times and, when she didn't wake again, plopped down beside her and sighed "I wish my cat where here" he said. With that the mouse girl let out a shriek that almost made his eyeballs pop out and scrambled away from him, tripping over her own feet, and then huddled in a little ball muttering to herself. Cloud/Alice had not anticipated this reaction and he was greatly alarmed "Do you not like cats?" he asked, trying to make small talk. The girl mouse shuddered "To tell you why I don't like….kitties" she shivered "I would have to tell you my sad story, and I don't have time" she sniffed and turned back to him, her eyes grew wide as saucers when she saw his clothes "Are you….wet?" she gasped, "Why yes, indeed I am wet. Thank you for pointing that out to me" he said sarcastically. But the poor mouse wasn't listening; she was pacing about, mumbling about how it would not do. Cloud was about to ask her what she meant when she grabbed his arm and started dragging him through the forest "Where are we going!" he asked alarmed, "We are going to see if some of my friends can help us" she said, determination in her voice, Cloud decided not to push her for further details. They jogged through the forest and soon enough they came to a clearing, all sorts of cute furry animals were there, playing and walking around in a cute furry animal way. After a few moments a squirrel saw them and sent up a chatter "Look at what Dormouse has everyone!" it squeaked. All the forest animals crowded around, "Is it some sort of bird?" asked a fox, "It's not a bird, it doesn't have any feathers" Injected a badger. "It has the funniest gangly legs" "And it only has fur on the top of its head!" "Look at those really long fingers" "I know…..I think it's a bat!" "A naked mole rat is more like it!" "I think" said a chipmunk "That this creature is a frog". "A frog!" all the creatures yelled "It's a frog!", "Actually, I'm a human" said Cloud, "A what?" they asked, "A…hu...man" he repeated, just a little slower so they could get it. All the animals stared at him blankly "Moving on" said the Dormouse "Do you see something strange about him?" all the animals stared at him for a moment. "He's wet!" shrieked a rat, the animals gasped, "What's wrong with being wet" Cloud asked, "It's against the law" "She'll have your head clean off" "It's against the rules it is" "Just like Bernie" "Poor Bernie" "He was such a nice gecko…". "Enough!" yelled the Dormouse; everyone went quiet "We need to get him dry, so I propose a Caucus Race©" everyone cheered, "What's a Caucus Race©?" asked Cloud, the Dormouse sighed "You can't explain it you just….do it, now GO!" and with that everyone started running in all directions, pushing and shoving and making Cloud follow along. When it seemed like hours and his clothes were thoroughly dry, all the animals plopped down in a heap "Wasn't*_gasp_*that*_wheeze_* great?" a lark asked, clutching her side. Cloud thought it was the most ridicules thing he had ever done, though not as ridicules as wearing a dress. A squirrel suddenly sat up "Who won?" it asked in a quivering voice, "We all won!" replied the Dormouse to mush cheering "We need prizes" , they all looked at Cloud expectantly. "I don't have anything on me" he said, all the little forest animals hung their heads dejectedly "But maybe the Dormouse could tell us a story" they all cheered again. The Dormouse blushed "O.k., I will tell you my long and sad tail" she settled herself "It was a long time ago when my mother went out into the forest. And the barn cat was a _prowling_ and a _prowling._ And my poor mother was scurry scurry scurry, and the _prowling_ and the _prowling_……YOUR NOT PAYING ATTENTION!" Cloud, who had been staring off into space was jolted back by the Dormouse's shriek "No I wasn't" he said. The Dormouse started to sniff "Yes you were. You insult me! I will not be insulted any longer!" and with that she stormed off. All the animals gave him a death glare and all moved into the shadows until no one was left.


End file.
